Articles Tagged with Shaggy Dog Tale

(PARTS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, AND FIVE)

“Book thievery is the one crime of which people do not seem to mind being suspected.” (“Miss Manners Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say,” by Judith Martin, Crown Publishers, 1998, p. 47.)

As the author of “The Book Thief” laments, it is very hard to get law enforcement to care about missing books. Who cares if the books are national treasures, worth more than any single painting in an art museum, the only surviving record of a two-thousand year old culture, or simply a paperback book purchased with public money for the enjoyment of hundreds for the next couple of years? Most law enforcement personnel, from police to prosecutors to judges, even those who are literate and even literary seem to find book theft somewhat more important than the theft of one’s recycling from curbside and somewhat less important than the theft of someone’s front garden pink flamingo. Stolen pink flamingos make the news, but not stolen books, unless there are lots of them and there is someone to blame, usually not the thief. It is one kind of several types of crimes where the victim is deemed more to blame than the thief. (For example, library and book store security system managers often get more of the blame than the thief.)

(PARTS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE and SIX)

Earl: I just ate a bowl of rice puddin’ …AND got a belly rub! All’s right with the world. Zzzzz.

Mooch: Call the U.N.! (Mutts (2003) )

The Law Librarian and the FBI: A Shaggy Dog Tale in Six Parts: PART THREE

(PARTS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE and SIX)

Lucy: That kid in school sure said some mean things about you today. How come you didn’t hit him?

PART TWO … (See PARTS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE and SIX)

“Our view is that it takes a special talent to make libraries controversial.” *

Several months on, however, despite all efforts, it appeared that my missing books were going to continue to preoccupy my thoughts. Brandon was out of jail, his lawyers fighting on his behalf, and the lawsuits would work their way through the courts. Brandon didn’t have or couldn’t find my library’s books, and I wasn’t going to press the point; there were more important matters on his mind at the time. I did ask trusted friends if or how I should pursue the return of my books if in fact the FBI had taken them. Attorneys continued to advise me to lay low, stay away, look out because these guys mean business . “People have disappeared,” was said in hushed tones. “Librarians have disappeared?” I wanted to ask, but kept quiet, after all, it was 2004, 2005, and then 2006. These apparently were Years To Keep Quiet, which under normal circumstances would be quite pleasant for a lot of librarians. But now, not so much.

Librarians, rightly, worry about what to do when the FBI comes knocking, but what does a librarian do when they already knocked and you want back what they might have taken?

(As for Shaggy Dog tales, I owe what I know of them to Isaac Asimov’s “Treasury of Humor,” Houghton Mifflin, 1971. But you can also find shaggy dog stories on the web, here and here and elsewhere.)

(Links to all six parts, from here or … PARTS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,  FIVE and SIX)